Another Year

Jordana Ash, June 23 2025

Another year? How can this possibly be? How can Maddy’s death, the experience that

tore at the fabric of our family, that clawed at our reality and tested the limits of our

suffering have happened 4 years ago, in the early dawning hours of a new day that was

supposed to be shaped by hope and health? How is it that time is warped in such a way

that 4 endless years, 1,460 excruciating days of sorrow have passed while equally, this

rending is as real as if it happened yesterday, with every detail forever etched in our

minds and hearts as if carved with a diamond blade?

People wonder, are you doing better? Has it softened or eased? And that I cannot

answer, not today, on the day we are bereft because our child died.

There is wisdom shared about grief and loss. That slowly, slowly you will feel moments

of joy, small gifts of laughter and delight. That awe is all around in the natural world,

patiently waiting until you are ready to behold. That the kindness of remembrance will

soothe your aching hearts. And yes, sadly, that there are friendships that won’t hold fast

through the depth and darkness of this despair.

Dearest beloved Maddy. We love you fiercely, we miss you eternally, and we will never

stop saying your name.